So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize