oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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