Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're a waste of cheezeits
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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