My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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