Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.

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(+61): View more from Australia

It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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(817): View more from Texas

When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?

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(815): View more from Illinois

i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

Is it just clogged or something?

(901): View more from Tennessee

No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.

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