HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
