By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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