I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
