ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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