3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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