new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My liver just had a heart attack.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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