Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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