My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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