I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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