So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
