rhymes with "ouble enetration"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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