I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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