they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
