Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize