you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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