I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish my penis had an off switch
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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