You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize