Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
