So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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