Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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