then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
