i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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