when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
