We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
