I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
