Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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