WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
