We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize