jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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