Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
