i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize