The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize