We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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