It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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