I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
