so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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