Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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