I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
