took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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