He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
