I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
