something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Randomize
