Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
