hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
