And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
