is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
