she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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