I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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