Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize