Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
