He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My dick has a subreddit
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
