I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Two words: blizzard sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
